How our Easter really was… {Truth}

How our Easter really was… {Truth}

Hey friends,

It’s Easter Sunday night and I am sitting in bed with my feet up & sipping a cold drink – I’ve just had a soak in a hot bubble bath… Sounds pretty ideal right? Nice and relaxing… What a splendid way to spend an Easter Sunday evening… I really could just leave the post at this and be done with it, but I’ll be honest here and tell you how my Easter Sunday has really gone and why those few basic “self care” things NEEDED to happen.

Let me take you back to Thursday… I woke up to a very odd looking left eye. Like the bottom half my eyeball was blood shot red and it felt swollen… Great. I figured it may have been some random allergy, I had plans to attend an under 8’s day event with LuLu that day and had to get groceries for Good Friday, so it was a busy day – my eye was throbbing in pain but I didn’t have time to deal with it…
In the afternoon we all decide to go to the block to check out the progress on the house and I wanted to stop by the pharmacy and grabbed some eye drops as my eye still wasn’t improving & the pain was very distracting… I spoke to the pharmacist and they told me to go straight to an optometrist because my eye looked very bad… Great. 3:10pm on a Thursday afternoon, before the easter long weekend I had to try and get a last minute appointment in a small town… Thankfully I got an appointment and I was sitting in the waiting room, I get a text from Trent who was waiting in the car for me with the kids and it read; “Have to go home, Tommy has just been sick everywhere”. Here I am freaking out that I can’t race home and console and fix my baby and help clean up, but thankfully Trent is very capable and took care of it all like a champ. I was able to get my eye seen to, get ointment and eye drops… (Turns out a part of my eye was inflamed and started causing another part to deteriorate in a spot… As of Sunday night, it’s doing much better!) 
That night was fairly sleepless as Tommy was unwell and Good Friday was a slow day, just taking care of our little man was our main focus.
(I still got to attend church and then I cooked a delicious dinner of homemade garlic sauce with snapper, rice, prawns, salad and buttered baked potatoes – it all sounds very mismatched but ended up being spot on!) At this point Tommy is on a very bland and simple diet, we couldn’t work out what was going on and continued watching him closely. He was/is acting happy, has energy and is seemingly fine, but randomly is throwing up and it’s not immediately after food or anything… It truly makes no sense…
Saturday rolls around, he only has 3 tiny little spit ups, so I think he must be getting better….
Then….
12:15am Easter Sunday morning… I wake up to warm liquid gushing over my shoulders and chest, I quickly realise it’s my baby, vomiting in his sleep all over me and our bed… I thank God, I honestly said this out loud “thank you for having him beside me right now God”… As I grabbed him and rolled him over so he wouldn’t choke and that’s when he woke up very startled. Thankfully LuLu who was also in the bed was curled up on the other side so she avoided the mess and Trent was working, so I really had to make a survival choice here… I knew to change the sheets I would have to wake LuLu, get her out of bed, turn all the lights on and it would take 5-10 minutes to get everything changed and clean and at this point I was so darn tired & weak I could barely stand… So I just cleaned myself up quickly, changed my top and cleaned Tommy up & threw a towel over the wet sheets… (I have a waterproof protector under my fitted sheet so I knew the mattress would be fine…) Not ideal and sleeping on a towel is something I do not recommend for comfort levels – but you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes…
Trent wasn’t due home for like another 2 hours, so I walked and walked up and down the hallway trying to get my little man to settle, I laid in bed, sat on the couch, trying – I tried everything. He would nod off to sleep and then jolt awake… This continued to around 2am, when Trent finally got home and saved me and of course Tommy snuggled right into Trent and fell asleep…
So how did your Easter Sunday start? That good?
We were all up and out of bed before 6:30am.
We had fun doing the egg hunt and sharing in the excitement of new toys!
But Trent and I were both dead tired and bickered at each other a few times over stupid things and our patience was at an all time low. Then we ended up going to the doctors at 9am to get Tommy checked out… (Doctor also is stumped, hoping it’s a very mild form of gastro or a tummy bug presenting in an odd way… But if he worsens or doesn’t improve by Tuesday tests will be done)
I felt like I was running on total empty, I could barely move. I still had to peg out the bed sheets and then remake our bed and do all the other laundry, do groceries and tidy the house. We have sheets and towels everywhere at the moment to try and save our carpet and furniture if he was to be sick, so the state of my home isn’t making me happy either and add on the stress of having a baby (who is very small naturally so he doesn’t have weight to lose) being randomly & unexplainably sick… I was pretty much a wreck. I hate having my kids sick, it breaks my heart especially when it’s making no sense and I can’t “help”.
But I went home, pegged the laundry out, put another load on, tidied myself up, breastfed Tommy and put him to sleep, left Trent to nap/rest and took LuLu and headed to church… To rejoice in the fact He is risen, to listen to truth and just sit and be still… LuLu coloured quietly beside me as I listened about how loved I am and how great He is. I sat there quietly feeling like I was about to collapse – my bones ached and my body felt so weak, I prayed for strength to make it through the day,  for patience & wisdom, I asked our Lord to highlight some glimmers of joy in our day that at the time I just couldn’t find and prayed for the ability to give myself some grace and stop being so hard on myself…
Now church and prayer isn’t magic, it doesn’t instantly & magically fix things, but I always feel comfort at church & after praying. I know He is there, He loves & cares for me.
As we sung the last song at church LuLu wanted me to hold her, she clung to me, her little hands touching my hair and then holding me tightly, her head resting on my shoulder, she hardly ever does this anymore so I enjoyed every second of it – I savoured that moment and soaked it in. Despite feeling like I was too weak to hold her, I swayed gently and sung about our Lord rising from the dead on this day all those years ago and His love for us. He died to save us from our sins and rose 3 days later to give us eternal life, I felt so thankful for this life even the struggles.
For the rest of the day I powered through (I had to, what I didn’t get done today I would have to do on Monday and Trent was back to work then, so doing it while he was home to help me and stay with the kids made sense…) I got the groceries done, the bed made and the laundry finished and folded & put away… I gave myself some grace – we had ham and cheese toasted sandwiches for dinner, not exactly the roast I had planned.
By 4:45pm everyone was tired and our day was done. I vacuumed the floors like I do every night and quickly mopped them and we tucked our babies in bed. I ran a big hot bath with epsom salts and bubble bath and sunk down into it, snacking on a few Easter eggs, my first for the day & sipping cold water.

Then I had a hot shower and for a moment for my tired body felt better but now that I’m out and sitting here on my bed I can feel my bones aching again and I don’t know why, I really can’t explain it. But as soon as I get run down or not enough sleep – my body starts to crash, my bones aching is usually the first sign. It sucks, so I’ve got a cold drink and I’m venting my heart out to you all trying to relieve the stress and disappointment in myself.

Our Easter morning was still magical, we had an egg hunt and the kids loved their gifts. We spent time with a little friend who lives down the street, watched a movie and we spoke to our loved ones on the phone. We read Easter books and played games, Trent and the kids went for a walk around the block with some neighbours, but the enthusiasm on my end wasn’t to the level I like to give my kids, especially on special holidays. It was more on a survival level. That makes me feel disappointed in myself, but I know I have to give myself grace. I’m running on bare minimum sleep, my health isn’t terrific (working on it) and it’s just been a rough few days. There will be other Easters… There will be… And sometimes I think these rough days are blessings in disguise, they are given to us so we can appreciate the beautifully easy days where life just goes to plan that little bit more and also so I can share these stories – share them to encourage you.
No ones life is always perfect, kids get sick, lack of sleeps brings out the worst in everyone and somedays survival mode is all we can muster – occasionally even on special holidays… And that is ok. It is life.
Giving ourselves grace is vital, finding small ways to recharge with self care is vital and knowing it’s only a bad day/week is vital. This isn’t the story of my everyday, it’s a just a story of few hard days – days I probably won’t even remember in a year or 10! I try to remember this when I am struggling, this day will not be a stand out day, it’ll be a blur of the past, one day. I can chose to highlight what went right today and store that away in my mental memory bank or I can dwell on the negatives. I chose to remember the joy and let the hardships fade away.

Friends I hope somehow this rambling of words that have been typed with half closed eyes (so forgive the poor writing) has encouraged you today. Everyday won’t be magic, but there will be glimmers of joy in every single day. I can promise you that, you may just have to look a little harder.
I hope your Easter has been more easy & relaxing than ours!
Happy Easter.
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I just thought I would add as of Monday morning at 11am we have had no more vomits since that midnight incident. Praying to God, touching wood and everything is crossed our Little Mitty is on the mend. We would appreciate any extra prayers, please. He is still on a very bland and simple diet but if he continues to keep everything down until tomorrow morning I will start reintroducing food. I hope this is the end of this awful & confusing sickness! 

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Need to rest, but so busy!

Hey friends,

So it’s Monday, which means new blog post day… Except it’s 6:45pm at night and I do not have some amazing new post to share.
To be honest I’ve been in survival mode a little lately, I have a lot to do and I love being busy and doing things, but then coupled with a few sleepless nights my body crashed. My doctor said I burnt myself out 110% and my body was crashing- big time… I’m meant to be resting, rest doesn’t really happen when you are a mum of 2 small children and a wife to a shift worker. So I just try and get what I need to do and make sure in the evening I am taking some time out.
Over the weekend we had our first working bee for the kindy and I feel it was so successful, we got a lot done and it was a beautiful and social get together. I really love being actively involved in LuLu’s kindy. How involved are you at kindy/school?
I am the “plus one” person for the executive committee and I am also on the fundraising and tech committee. Trent is the maintenance officer for 2018, a role that suits him well. He is a builder by trade and loves helping out where he can. On Saturday he ran his first working bee and I’m quiet proud of him!

On Sunday we had a busy day, the lawns had to be mowed, then groceries – all before church! Then church, lunch at church and then out to a small local town to see LuLu’s artwork in the show! And what a surprise for her, when we got out there it had a ribbon on it! I’m not sure what the ribbon means, but we will get them back to kindy shortly and find out! She was so excited and we are very proud of her!

Today Trent was back at work, it was my first Monday flying solo to do kindy drop off & pick up and also gymnastics. So just the 2 kids and I, and I have survived, kids are asleep and house is tidy! Trent just walked in the door, so I best go serve him some dinner and then get back to resting!

Have a lovely week guys, I will be back on Friday with another easter haul, if you haven’t already seen my latest video click HERE.

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Touched out.

Hey friends,

Ok, so I still feel stuck in this creative funk/writers block mode and it’s getting me so down. So I figured I should just start typing and see how it goes…
So, hey.
There is nothing planned for this post, so Lord knows how it’ll end up, but let’s chat.
Trent just got home from work and bought KFC because today felt like one of those days where I just felt defeated… I made the kids dinner but I felt miserable/sick (stupid body) at the time and didn’t want to eat with them, so I ate with Trent.
You know those days, where you feel drained and just worn down and touched out. Yeah, it was one of those…
I think that’s my downfall with my motherhood, I can feel touched out. I’ve never been a huge “hugger” or anything, so maybe that plays into it. Now don’t misread that, I love cuddling my kids and husband… But 24/7 can be a bit much.
Trent does huge shifts – and my kids are big on attachment. I cuddle Tommy to sleep (like I did with Lucy) and he is currently very attached to me & is incredibly shy to anyone he doesn’t know, LuLu loves to be near me most of the time and both of them usually/eventually end up in our bed at some point during the night. So it’s a lot contact time, which I love, but 24/7 over a course of a few days where I’m the main one at home, it can feel a bit draining. And I end up feeling like a vacation to an isolation cell would be darn dandy. But usually, 7pm rolls around and Trent walks through the door and after he has eaten & had a shower – I pass the baton to him for a few hours and I recharge. Well, that’s how it normally plays out, but over the last few nights we’ve both had unexpectedly late nights out (I had a meeting and Trent had some stuff to do after work the other night) so our normal routine got a bit muddled and we both weren’t getting home until after 9pm, so – it’s just been a long week. Usually I find just having a few hours to sit and read or do whatever in the evening is enough time for me to recharge and get ready for a new day of snuggles.
And this muggy and hot weather adds to the drained feeling.  Because who wants to bloody snuggle when you have to peel your sleeping child off you, like I mean literally peel them off – because sweat – gross!
But I am glutton for punishment, because I love my kids cuddles. I swear I sleep better with LuLu attached to my back like a baby possum and having Tommy snuggled somewhere in between us all. Especially when Trent is on nights, I cannot sleep without them nestled in my bed, because when they are there – I know they are safe, so I sleep better.
And everyday I try so hard to soak in those fleeting moments where he still needs me to go to sleep and that I am his safe place, because I know all too soon – he won’t. I still often miss my sleepy baby LuLu bug cuddles!
I just think it’s that time of around 3pm when our day is winding down, the temperature is hot and I’m just feeling exhausted, that I get a little overwhelmed. I just TRY to remind myself these moments are so fleeting & this chapter will soon merge into another with new challenges and I will probably long for these simple challenges back! So I breathe through it, I cuddle them, put them to bed, go sit down and have a minute to collect myself and then long for that heavy feeling of a sleeping baby snuggled on my chest… It’s a funny thing parenting, you long for a minute alone and then when you have it, you long for them back! It just goes around in the circle…
Do you ever feel touched out? How do you handle it?

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PS; Feeling that creative block lifting – woo hoo!!

Preparing for pre-prep. {What we are using}

Hey friends,
Last post I came to you asking for help about preparing for kindy/pre-prep (you can read that post HERE)
Today I am here to deliver my findings and what products we ended up choosing for LuLu to start pre-prep with…
Domestic Goddess Unboxing... (1).png(If you would like to see me showing you these products, I have filmed a video you can watch HERE.)

First we have her backpack… Which you can find HERE – for some reason I was unable to purchase this online and had to ring around to find the last one left in our area.
After a lot of thought I ended up going with a Mambo one from Big W. It’s pretty, seems decent quality although it isn’t super padded but it’s a good & large size to fit all her stuff in. I did look at Smiggle, but to be honest, those designs are a bit over the top and didn’t suit our girl and those bags are so pricey! So when I saw one with feathers and arrows – I knew it was perfect! (I can hear LuLu in the toy room shooting her toy bow & arrow right now!)

Her lunchbox was the most expensive item. It is a Munchbox, we went with the mix and match set which can be found HERE (her colour is currently out of stock as of the 12/Jan/2017) This lunch box was $65 and when I say that out aloud I am still like “WHAT”!? You spent $65 on a lunchbox. But I had to buy her a bigger lunch box as she is a big eater and I am planning on this lunch box lasting her for a few years. It is a durable and is meant to be leak proof which I think is great. So if lasts us a few years and is durable – I truly think it is money well spent. I wanted to go with a bento style lunch box so not only is it good for the environment but it is motivating for me to create nutritious and fun lunches for her. The delivery was very quick as well on the Munchbox.
(To save some money, google Munchbox discount code – there are a few online, I was able to save 10% thanks to a quick google search!)

Her water bottle is by Camelbak, we got ours from Woolworths. Her water cup is from OMGosh .
Name labels were ordered from TinyMe, they arrived quickly and are lovely! We will be ordering a hat from Bedhead hats. We love this brand of hat and she currently has one that is swim hat. It’s lasted so well and I love the fact it has a pony tail hole for her hair – she has a lot of hair, so this helps her hat sit on more securely and comfortably.

For rest/quiet time they need a “swag” – which is just a yoga mat and a towel. I got both of these from Big W, she proudly picked the towel herself. (Yoga mat & towel.)  

Uniform wise she can wear anything, but LuLu will be wearing the official kindy shirt and black pants which are the “uniform”. They don’t have to wear red & black & the kindy shirt is mainly for excursions, but I think it’ll make our lives easier if she has some dark coloured pants and red tops to rotate through.

To keep our immune system strong now that we have a “school kid” – I have a good stock of On Guard and Easy Air oil by doTERRA. On Guard is a protective blend designed to help assist in strengthening the immune system and Easy Air helps to maintain clear airways and I love to diffuse it at night. If you want more info on that click HERE or reach out to me!

And we are organised, pre-prep orientation is this Thursday and I honestly cannot believe we are at this point. It feels just like last month I was filming videos updating you all on baby Rexy or sharing fun crafts we did together while she was a little toddler and now here we are… I’m about to send her off to pre-prep. Gosh, I am preparing my heart everyday for this – I know she will thrive and be great, I however will probably be at home sobbing over Tommy telling him to stay little and not leave Mumma yet! LOL!
Oh the bitter sweetness of motherhood, we want our babies to grow and flourish but we long them for them to stay tiny… It’s rough on our hearts!
Hugs to you if you are about to send your little one off this year too!
What products are you using this year?

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Preparing for pre-prep {Advice wanted – HELP!}

2018. A year for big things.
The first big moment for our little family this year is our little love LuLu is off to pre-prep this month. (In 18 days!)
Now, LuLu has never attended day care or been regularly cared for by any one other than Trent & I. I’m her constant, with her 24/7 – so this is a HUGE change for both her and I – personally I feel she’ll handle it much better than I will!

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She is a fun loving, active & very clever little lady who I know will flourish wonderfully. She loves to learn, she is so inquisitive and does not stop asking questions – EVER!
We carefully selected a beautiful kindergarten centre for her. They are big on outside play, nature and it’s child led play based learning – perfect for our LuLu…
We have done a handful of stay & play sessions at the end of last year, so LuLu is aware of the teachers, the centre and how things work.


Now I have to prepare, I have ordered a bunch of name labels from Tinyme  – but now I’m stuck… I’ve never done this before, so I need help…
I need a backpack, where do you buy good quality kid back packs? She has a cute Bobbleart one but I feel it’s too small.
What’s the best type of lunch box for kindy age kids? Those bento/yumbox/I don’t know what they are, it’s like a box with a bunch of sections/you know the ones… Are they worth it?
What are your go to kindy lunches?
Experienced Mumma’s I’m calling on your help… Give me suggestions and advice please!
I don’t mind spending a little bit of money on a good quality back pack as it’s always handy to have one, she’ll most likely get a proper school bag next year with the school’s logo on it, so this one would become a back pack to have in the car for trips away, carry on etc. And same applies for the lunch box, I don’t mind investing in a good one because it’ll be used next year at prep & hopefully in primary school.
Now onto another thing I need help with, how do you be ok? Like as a Mumma, how do I handle the separation? I know, don’t cry in front of her & be strong but gosh, I’m almost crying writing this… Pretty much every single day, she’s been with me for the past 4 years… And now, my little shadow has to go off. How do I handle the first day/week/weeks? I feel like it’s going to hard.
I think she’ll adjust ok, we have had a few “I don’t think I want to go to kindy anymore, I want to stay home with you Mumma.” moments, but 97% of the time she is very positive about it and super excited to go to “school”. I realise after the novelty wears off, she may get a little sad/over it, but hopefully she just keeps loving it. We currently don’t have a sand pit at our rental house, so she’s very excited to get back to pre-prep to play in the sand! I talk very positive about the centre and all her teachers, so I hope that helps her too.
She is very self sufficient, she can open food (muesli bars, biscuits etc), wash her own hands, put her shoes on, get dressed – all those basic things she needs to know how to do, she can… So I feel she is prepared in that sense. She is also confident doing arts & crafts, is very active and strong and loves to play on play equipment, and she can identify her own name. I know every Mumma thinks their kid is smart, but this girl – she is too smart for her own good somedays, she is wise beyond her years with what she understands and her ability to learn makes me proud. I know she’ll do great. Me though, gosh I’ll miss her and her baby brother who adores her and rarely leaves her side will also miss her!
I know I often try to write posts with tips & advice for you all, and maybe next year I can write a post full of advice on sending little ones off to pre-prep/prep, but right now I need the help.
Help me, comment below or connect with me on social media. Any advice, suggestions, tips, tricks – anything is appreciated.
It’s going to be a big adjustment, but I think she’ll thrive and it is all for the greater good.

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My birth story, 1 year on.

13th December, 2017.
Tonight is emotional.
Tomorrow my baby turns one.
My last baby, will no longer be a baby and I’ve been on the verge of tears all day & I’m pretty sure they are set to erupt anytime now…
When it’s birthday time I get all nostalgic and emotional, I look back at old photos and just go back to those newborn moments. The newborn bubble is the greatest, I could live in a continuous loop of sleepy newborn days where you are so infatuated and in awe it’s intoxicating… But it speeds by at an absolutely ridiculous rate and before you know it, you are sitting there, the night before they turn 1 fighting back the tears as you scroll through photos reminiscing of the moment you met that tiny little person.
So let’s go there, let’s go back and let me tell you my birth story of my son…

Now for a tiny bit of back story, if you followed my pregnancy last year you will know it was pretty average. (To see more click HERE)
There were a few stints in hospital, a diagnosis of an auto immune disorder which causes me to be incredibly sick as well as all day “morning” sickness that lasts my entire pregnancy right up until about a minute before I give birth. All that sickness then lead to irritable uterus early on and a very, very painful pregnancy and well, to be honest I thought I was going to die last year I felt so awful. I was constantly worried about my little “Baby Elf” and each week he stayed in was a milestone because there was a worry he was going to arrive super early, like at one point it would’ve not been viable for him to survive.
But we hit those milestones, 24 weeks, 28 weeks, 32 weeks was a big relief (I could deliver in Toowoomba now, before that would mean a big stay down in Brisbane) 36 weeks and then 38 weeks rolled around…
So due to the concern of “Baby Elf” arriving early, I had undergone 2 rounds of steroid injections to ensure his respiratory system was developed.
For a few months I had been managing my health with medication and just keeping myself “stable” with the bare minimum amount of drugs so it was safe for “Baby Elf” and I. But around 38.5 weeks I started to get sick again, I felt ok but I knew how I feel after being sick for a week or so. It’s not good, heck if I get sick now, after just a few days I’m very weak and drained – add on being pregnant, delivering a baby, recovery & then going straight into life with 2 kids… It wouldn’t have been ideal. So we spoke to my OB & specialist who both agreed that it was in everyone’s best interest if “Baby Elf’ was to arrive a few days early. That way I had strength for birth and recovery.
He was due on the 20th of December, but we opted for an induction and assumed he would arrive the 14th or 15th of December.
During my pregnancy there were concerns if I would be strong enough to handle to a natural birth again, but I was pretty determined to give it ago. I never have much of a birth plan besides get the baby out in a way that will hurt the least! HA! Basically my only request is, give me the darn epidural when I ask for it!

So the 13th of December, we spent the last day as a tiny family of 3 by just being together, we went for a swim, we cuddled and we just cherished these last few moments. Before I left for the hospital that night (induction check in is 7pm) Trent made me Vegemite and cheese on toast, I ate this the night before I went into labour with LuLu.
Trent and LuLu drove me to the hospital and checked me in and letting them leave was the hardest thing, I cried – a lot. Birth is a big deal, things go wrong in birth, I was terrified – I had to start the process alone and that little girl was my whole world. It had been just her and I every single day together for the past 1153 days. And now it was all about to change. I cried because the next time I saw her she wouldn’t be my only baby, she would be my first baby and a big sister. They were happy tears, but scared tears. I had dealt with having to say good bye to them both a lot while they left me in hospital far more than I would’ve liked that year, and I wish Trent could have stayed – but I knew LuLu needed him more.
The plan with the induction is to have the gel inserted around midnight (explains the 7pm check in) well, turns out that night just had to be super busy and mine didn’t get inserted until 3am and then after that is regular obs checks. So I’ve had maybe a couple hours of very broken sleep at this point. I had been awake from 7am Tuesday morning (the 13th) I was partly running on adrenaline and partly just wanting a nap… So by 6am I had my makeup done and I was ready to meet our son.
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The plan here was to see how the induction would go and labour on my own, when things started to spark up Trent was going to come back. I wanted him to stay with LuLu for as long as he could, my best friend was organised to arrive to take over looking after her for that day & that night. (We weren’t sure if the induction would work or how it would progress, some inductions take more than a day and some don’t work…) 
My OB arrived around 8:50am to check me, he reinserted the gel and also did a stretch and sweep (holy, ouch!) and that my friends is when my body got a little angry at me. My contractions felt like they were amping up, prior to this I had some basic niggles and discomfort but nothing that would make me stop and take a big breath. But after that point, boy did I have to stop and breath A LOT. After they insert the gel they have to monitor you on the CTG machine for about 1/2 an hour (I think) and laying in the bed is the most uncomfortable thing when you are having contractions. So once that was done I was up and walking the halls, walking around my room and then I got in a hot shower. I felt better when I was moving… I am pretty sure there was a phone call made to Trent around this point that may have been a little emotional because of how much pain I was in.
When I had left the labour ward room where I was on the CTG machine, the nurse told me to monitor my contractions and come back in around 1/2 an hour and tell her how many I was averaging in a 10 minute period. I got back and told her around 8-10 in 10 minutes. I am pretty sure she thought I was an idiot because she said “ah, no sweetie if you were having that many you would be screaming” – so she attached the monitor and sure enough 9 contractions in 10 minutes.
So they decided I needed an injection to calm that all down. Thankfully that worked.
Trent arrived just after that and it was just before lunch time and I was still labouring away with some pretty painful contractions. When he arrived I was due to be released from the CTG machine (woo hoo!) so I went for a walk with him to the cafeteria so he could eat some lunch. And he got so many bad looks from all the women eating their food, because here he was enjoying his meal while his very pregnant & clearly in labour wife waddled/paced around the table like a circling shark breathing like a crazy lady. I didn’t mind, walking was helping me feel better but to an outsider it probably looked liked he was some nasty husband who valued his appetite more than my comfort! It made us laugh a lot!
After Trent was full, I waddled back to my room for a shower. Hot water on my lower back was making me feel a lot better.
My sister arrived at this point, she is a midwife at this hospital so it was nice to have her there. She was able to explain things to me if I didn’t understand and also made sure everything that was happening was in my best interest.
Then it was time to head back around to the CTG machine to check how I was going. When we got there we were told to head on around to the delivery room, because it was time to get that delightful needle in my spine and then my waters would be broken.
I had spoken to my doctor during my pregnancy that I would want an epidural fairly early on. So he had kindly organised it before rupturing my waters. He was worried that once the waters were broken everything may intensify rather quickly and cause me a lot of pain. So I was very grateful that he knew I would prefer the epidural first…
Trent, Nikki and I headed into the labour ward, I put the gown on and we met my anaesthetist.
Funny story; while I was getting the epidural, the doctors phone rang and he asked Trent to answer it – they thought Trent was the anaesthetist. And Trent had to basically be the middle man between the operating theatre and the anaesthetist. We all had a laugh about it.
My water was broken around 2:30pm and synto was started to kick those contractions up a notch.
I was checked around 4:30pm and they said not much was happening and assumed I wouldn’t deliver until the following morning… I was super exhausted at this point and just wanted to sleep, so Nikki decided to head on home around 5pm.

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A little while after she left my best friend Kelsie came up to visit with LuLu, it was lovely to see them both. I got one last snuggle of my baby and she headed on off to home to have a sleep over with her little best friend. My mind was fully at ease knowing she was being so well cared for by someone I trust so much.
Around 7:45pm my OB came to check on me, we were not expecting anything to have progressed as the midwives kept saying that my contractions didn’t seem very consistent or strong… So we were very surprised when he looked down and exclaimed “Oh WOW I can see the baby, he’ll be here very soon”! He said he would give him a little time and come back in hour.
So after that I naturally touched up my makeup! (haha) but then I got super tired, I couldn’t even keep my eyes open. And then I got nauseous and had to throw up and I couldn’t stop even with medication. I knew what was about to happen, the same thing happened just before I had Lucy.
The midwives checked and then quickly called for the doctor, who came in had a look and was absolutely blown away at how fast he had come down, he was scrambling to tuck his tie in and get gowned up. My vomiting was bringing the baby down very quickly.
I needed an episiotomy and the vacuum was used, but the birth was calm and silent and just how I hoped. Before we knew it he was here.
Tommy was born at 8:44pm on 14th of December 2016.
He was (still is) a tiny little man, weighing only 6pound 9.5ounces/3000grams. He was born with dark hair and was covered in fur. He was/is exactly how I dreamt my son would be.

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But his arrival was a little frightening. He came out with the cord very firmly around his neck and it was a short cord, he was very blue looking. He ended up needing to spend some time on the resus table. I have never felt so helpless or scared. I had just been through months of fearing for the wellbeing of this precious little baby because of my stupid body and the moment he should be in my arms he was metres from me being worked on. But thankfully my prayers were heard because not much later he was in my arms and snuggled in. (He was fine, but in the moment I was petrified, I have a video of the moment he is taken from he and my hands are shaking terribly.)
After getting stitches, baby being monitored, allowing myself to feel a bit better, trying to eat and having a shower – it was very late. So it was around midnight once I finally got back to my room on the ward. I was wrecked!
We made the decision that no one besides Nikki and Kelsie would be told he was here as there was a very important little lady that needed to meet her baby brother first before the rest of our world knew about him.
Trent returned home after midnight and I tried to get some sleep.
He came back up with Lucy the following morning and our girl was head over heels in love with her baby Tommy. As were we, he is so amazing.
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We then sent a group text out to every relative & friend that was dear to us. Nearly everyone responded wishing us well, except 2 people and a year on they are still yet to meet our son. A decision they’ve made.
We are so thankful to our amazing God for our precious son, he is the most sweetest little man and an absolute little charmer. Everyone who meets him can’t help but smile, he is an absolute sweetheart and my heart feels like it’s about to burst constantly because this boy, he just loves his Mumma! He is very small, but he is so determined and strong. He is so close to walking, he has started to talk and he adores his sister so much! He loves his trucks & cars and enjoys a cuddle.
His favourite foods are greek yoghurt and avocado, blueberries, roast chicken and boobie. (I am so proud to have been able to breastfeed for 1 year! We were worried that I wouldn’t be able to at all because of how sick I was. So it was all a just “see how it goes” scenario. Once again we smashed our milestones… 1 year on and still going strong!)

We are so proud of our little man. He completed us.
Happy Birthday Mr Wigglesworth, you are so very loved darling.

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I will love him unconditionally, And I’ll take the blame , And claim him every time, Yeah, y’all, he’s mine, I thank God, he’s mine. – Rodney Atkins.

Mum TAG video | Seek the joy.

Hi friends,
Happy Friday! Today’s video is one I filmed a few weeks ago, a “Mum Tag” – if you would like to watch it click HERE… (It’s a bit of a long one so maybe go get a cuppa or a drink & a snack!)
I apologise for being a little scatter brained in the video – my brain has been chaos lately & filming with kids is a bit of a challenge!

I just want to touch on the subject that I went off on a bit of tangent with at the end and make my point clear, in the video it got a little rambly & I was distracted so I didn’t make my point exactly, so lets talk about…
Looking for the joy daily….
I’ve been criticised in the past online for being “too positive” or not promoting the real side of motherhood… I am real, I speak my own truth and what I put online is my life – it isn’t staged or fake – I am me. I like things a certain way, I do clean too much & 98% of the time I absolutely love being a Mumma & a wife, I truly do feel it’s what I’m here to do… The other 2% of the time is usually when I am in a zombie state and can barely make myself a cup of tea I am so tired or sick and feel like I am failing – those days can suck…. Those days, they aren’t so wonderful – but they are there… Just like every Mumma in this world, I struggle some days too. But I’m not about to start trashing my kids & husband online and being crass & classless just for likes and comments, I am not going to focus on the negativity. I do motherhood my way –  just like I blog my own way, I relish in the good days and note down why they were so wonderful and on the hard days when I feel like I’ve failed or like my life is off course, I search for 1 tiny good thing to hold onto and focus on. 1 thing that shined during that gloomy day. I scrape through the remains of the day, searching for something that shone. Then I hold on to it, treasure it and toss the rest away.
I focus on the sparkle. I refuse to dwell on what goes wrong. 10 years from now I will have no desire at all to read how hard my life was. Because I am not hard done by, my life is what I make of it. I chose this life & it is up to me to make the most of it.
My life 10 years ago as a 19 year old was hard, I know that, to be honest it was one of the most dreadful times of my life & I wish I could forget it, I didn’t document every single day where I struggled or the awful things that happened. I just know it – to be honest I wish I could erase the awful parts from my memory. Life is hard, every season brings new highs & lows – at the end of my life I want to have my brain trained so I am replaying my highlight reel, I am remembering the good, what went right, all the magic in the small monotonous  everyday moments… That’s what I want to remember. I don’t want to be dwelling on the negativity & what went wrong.
I am not saying lie or pretend everything is perfect – no one’s life is perfect. I am just sharing with you what works for me to maintain my sanity.
In my life I have a lot that isn’t perfect and a lot that really hurts, I have countless reasons to throw my hands in the air and declare life is too hard, but I refuse to sit around and be miserable about it. I find the more I dwell on something the worse it is. I don’t give negative moments too much attention or thought, I find negativity explodes with attention. “What you feed will grow” 
I want the positivity to grow, so that’s what I chose to focus on & highlight.
Doing project 365 (1 photo everyday for 1 year) I feel truly helps me, everyday I am training my mind to look for the good, the magic moments. The everyday sparkle & be thankful. My brain is so conditioned now to seek the joy & focus on that, that most days I don’t even need to think hard or try to find something. Of course there are days when it’s not so glorious – but that is life. There are highs & lows…
So friends, I encourage you if you are having a rough day, search for one thing that is awesome about your day. Or if you are searching for something to do to document your everyday during 2018 (yes, because 2018 is now just under 2 months away!) I highly recommend doing Project 365 – do it your own way, write about and document what matters to you… I started a new Instagram account at the start of 2017 to document ours, and at the end of this year (or lets be honest, somewhere probably around February 2018) – I will make 2 photo books for the kids and they will have that forever.
I hope this post has encouraged you a little. Motherhood can be rough, I get it. But try focusing on what went right instead of what went wrong at the end of today.

Have a wonderful weekend,
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If you would like to check out my Project 365, it is @Tbltscott on Instagram. Feel free to send a follow request – I will be accepting a few blog followers! I am very cautious about how much personal info/photos of my kids I share publicly online, so I will be selective with who I approve – but I have some absolutely amazingly supportive & beautiful blog followers and would love you guys to share in our everyday. Please don’t be offended if I don’t accept you, it probably is because I don’t recognise your username. Sorry.