Mum TAG video | Seek the joy.

Hi friends,
Happy Friday! Today’s video is one I filmed a few weeks ago, a “Mum Tag” – if you would like to watch it click HERE… (It’s a bit of a long one so maybe go get a cuppa or a drink & a snack!)
I apologise for being a little scatter brained in the video – my brain has been chaos lately & filming with kids is a bit of a challenge!

I just want to touch on the subject that I went off on a bit of tangent with at the end and make my point clear, in the video it got a little rambly & I was distracted so I didn’t make my point exactly, so lets talk about…
Looking for the joy daily….
I’ve been criticised in the past online for being “too positive” or not promoting the real side of motherhood… I am real, I speak my own truth and what I put online is my life – it isn’t staged or fake – I am me. I like things a certain way, I do clean too much & 98% of the time I absolutely love being a Mumma & a wife, I truly do feel it’s what I’m here to do… The other 2% of the time is usually when I am in a zombie state and can barely make myself a cup of tea I am so tired or sick and feel like I am failing – those days can suck…. Those days, they aren’t so wonderful – but they are there… Just like every Mumma in this world, I struggle some days too. But I’m not about to start trashing my kids & husband online and being crass & classless just for likes and comments, I am not going to focus on the negativity. I do motherhood my way –  just like I blog my own way, I relish in the good days and note down why they were so wonderful and on the hard days when I feel like I’ve failed or like my life is off course, I search for 1 tiny good thing to hold onto and focus on. 1 thing that shined during that gloomy day. I scrape through the remains of the day, searching for something that shone. Then I hold on to it, treasure it and toss the rest away.
I focus on the sparkle. I refuse to dwell on what goes wrong. 10 years from now I will have no desire at all to read how hard my life was. Because I am not hard done by, my life is what I make of it. I chose this life & it is up to me to make the most of it.
My life 10 years ago as a 19 year old was hard, I know that, to be honest it was one of the most dreadful times of my life & I wish I could forget it, I didn’t document every single day where I struggled or the awful things that happened. I just know it – to be honest I wish I could erase the awful parts from my memory. Life is hard, every season brings new highs & lows – at the end of my life I want to have my brain trained so I am replaying my highlight reel, I am remembering the good, what went right, all the magic in the small monotonous  everyday moments… That’s what I want to remember. I don’t want to be dwelling on the negativity & what went wrong.
I am not saying lie or pretend everything is perfect – no one’s life is perfect. I am just sharing with you what works for me to maintain my sanity.
In my life I have a lot that isn’t perfect and a lot that really hurts, I have countless reasons to throw my hands in the air and declare life is too hard, but I refuse to sit around and be miserable about it. I find the more I dwell on something the worse it is. I don’t give negative moments too much attention or thought, I find negativity explodes with attention. “What you feed will grow” 
I want the positivity to grow, so that’s what I chose to focus on & highlight.
Doing project 365 (1 photo everyday for 1 year) I feel truly helps me, everyday I am training my mind to look for the good, the magic moments. The everyday sparkle & be thankful. My brain is so conditioned now to seek the joy & focus on that, that most days I don’t even need to think hard or try to find something. Of course there are days when it’s not so glorious – but that is life. There are highs & lows…
So friends, I encourage you if you are having a rough day, search for one thing that is awesome about your day. Or if you are searching for something to do to document your everyday during 2018 (yes, because 2018 is now just under 2 months away!) I highly recommend doing Project 365 – do it your own way, write about and document what matters to you… I started a new Instagram account at the start of 2017 to document ours, and at the end of this year (or lets be honest, somewhere probably around February 2018) – I will make 2 photo books for the kids and they will have that forever.
I hope this post has encouraged you a little. Motherhood can be rough, I get it. But try focusing on what went right instead of what went wrong at the end of today.

Have a wonderful weekend,
Facebook.
Instagram.
Twitter.
Pinterest.
YouTube.
Snapchat; Bindy_30
Signature

If you would like to check out my Project 365, it is @Tbltscott on Instagram. Feel free to send a follow request – I will be accepting a few blog followers! I am very cautious about how much personal info/photos of my kids I share publicly online, so I will be selective with who I approve – but I have some absolutely amazingly supportive & beautiful blog followers and would love you guys to share in our everyday. Please don’t be offended if I don’t accept you, it probably is because I don’t recognise your username. Sorry.

Advertisements

13 tips on how to reset as a Mumma & remain happy…

She’s strong, but she’s exhausted. – r.h. sin.

Hey friends,

Today I come to you weary, exhausted & sleep deprived…
(So I do apologise if they post gets rambly & makes little sense.)
A certain little mister has decided to test out how little sleep Mumma needs to survive… Sleep deprivation is torture – one I would never survive – because I suck at being a human when I haven’t had sleep. Now I don’t need a great deal of sleep, but I do need at least 4/5 hours of unbroken sleep – heck even 3 is good enough… Otherwise I just don’t function right, my tolerance levels & patience grows incredibly thin and you know if you are a parent, you need high levels of those to survive!
So anyway, my current state has inspired me to write a blog post today on…13 ways.jpgHow to reset as a Mumma & stay happy…
We all need a hand sometimes, we all have rough days that test us so much we almost break (or even do) And this is ok, it happens. But the important thing is to remember not to stay in that place… To make a conscious effort to reset & refocus on being happy…

  • Communicate & connect. Talk to your husband/partner/friend/tribe – whoever! Let them know where you are at. Take up offers of help. Trent & I don’t have a large support network – to be honest we have zero outside help, but we do have each other and we share the parenting workload evenly… He helps me so much when I am running on empty. A good chunk of the time I am the one keeping everything going, but when I am struggling he swoops in and saves me. He is incredible at getting up at night with the kids when I need help, because he knows I am terrible at life if I don’t sleep… Be honest with your husband/partner at where you are at, he can’t help if he doesn’t know.
  • Create close friendships/gather a tribe… You don’t need many friends, just 1 or 2 that get you, but if you are fortunate enough to have tribe – that is awesome too! Thankfully I have my best friend that I can have a good chat (whinge session) to about my current struggles and it is always so reassuring to have someone who understands & supports you without judgement and will listen during those real & honest talks. Aren’t Mumma friends the best?! I am so thankful for my Motherhood soulmate! (my latest column in Highfields’ style talks about this, you can find it HERE)
  • Make Mumma time a priority… Whether it be just driving to the store & doing groceries on your own, journalling, watching a movie, going to gym/church/a cafe on your own, taking a hot bath or walking the dog alone – do something for you. Do something where you won’t be interrupted (or hardly) and reset yourself… (Best time to do this is when your husband is home or you can get a babysitter/grandparents to watch the kids!) 
  • Take care of you, so you can take care of others… This point goes along with the one before, but you cannot pour from an empty glass… Keep your cup full. Take care of you!! In whatever way you need, make your mental, physical, spiritual and emotional health a priority! Take care of yourself in a way that works for you! And Mumma, give yourself some grace! Stop being so darn hard on yourself!
  • Get out… As stay at home mums we are often just that, at home! I don’t often venture out with the 2 kids on my own, but when Trent is on days off we try to get out and do things as much as possible… This changes up our environment and recharges us a bit.
  • Remember your kids are and will be ok… Everyone has moments in parenting they cringe at or regret. Moments we yelled too loud or acted in a way we wish we didn’t… Your kids will be fine, it was only a moment. And if your kids are mad at you, remember they will live – having your kids be mad at you pretty much comes with parenting, it means you are parenting! You don’t have to be their friend every second. (If you react in a way you instantly regret or aren’t proud of towards your children, show your kids that it is good to be remorseful & apologise, explain feelings to them & how you felt overwhelmed. Be open & honest, you are setting an example on how to cope in a tough scenario. * example; “I am sorry I yelled so badly at you when you spilt your cereal. Mummy got frustrated & got mad too quickly, I realise that is was an accident & I am sorry.”)
  • Keep a happy heart & start each day fresh… Don’t hold onto bad behaviour, yes stick to punishments but don’t dwell on what’s happened. Move on. Strive to wake up every morning with a positive mindset and a happy heart…
  • Comparison is the thief of joy… Don’t compare, it is easy to see the instagram accounts and think “that mum has it together”… But everyone has struggles, their struggles maybe entirely different to yours but they exist. Keep in mind everyones social media account is their own edited version of their existence.
  • Get your priorities in order… Really weigh up what is important to you and your family. If you are burning yourself out trying to keep up with 10 different toddler activities during a week, is it worth it? Is exhausting yourself & making you cranky worth it? Everyones priorities will vary, so work out what works for your family. And learn to say NO – no to expectations, requests and even your kids. You do not have to do it all or be there for every single person.
  • Let it go, let it go… Go with the flow, some days are going to be absolutely incredible and some you will just want to cry. Go with it and pick your battles.
  • Savour the moment… One day you will long for this day back, don’t wish it away. Being in the trenches of motherhood is rough, but it’s beautiful and I am willing to bet one day you will look back on this fleeting season so fondly.
  • Remember you aren’t alone… Every Mumma has moments of great & hard times. Some moments we are a glowing, happy, engaged, doting mother who is fully focused on her kids and we are loving every second of motherhood. We wish these days would last forever. Then we experience the exhaustion, the feeling of barely being able to wake up because you are so tired and you swear you just shut your eyes, because you did! You feel like you are so touched out and just want to be alone in silence for 5 minutes – because silence & isolation sounds like a dream at this point. You feel like at any given moment you may just lose your mind because being over tired makes you a person you don’t really like. That mother exists too. Everyone has their own struggles, everyone (In one form or another…). I wish I was the first mother every single moment of my children’s lives – but I’m not, occasionally I am the second. Some days it’s challenging, but what counts is how we handle ourselves. Acknowledge it is a tough day/week/leap/month and work out a way to handle it… Go into survival mode, vent, ask for help, let it go – do what works for you, but know you are not alone. No one has a perfect day everyday and it’s ok for your day to not be perfect.
  • Treat yourself… Buy the flowers, buy the chocolate, buy the wine, get your hair done or buy the shoes. You are important – spoil yourself. (Because honestly, somedays you just need too!)

What is your best tip for resetting your mind after a stressful day/week? How do you maintain happiness as a Mumma? I would love to know, please comment below or on my social media!
Facebook.
Instagram.
Twitter.
Pinterest.
YouTube.
Snapchat; Bindy_30
Thank you so much for reading!
Signature

img_7315

“What’s your go to way to reset during or after a hard day”.

Answer this question for the scavenger hunt by clicking HERE.

Honesty; Finding the balance & joy this Christmas.

Good morning friends,
It is December – finally! 
The tree is up, (has been for weeks), festive excitement has filled my heart – as well as a bit of festive stress for not being as organised as I wished I was. 
We get 1 December a year and I feel I am kind of not ready for it.
I feel like every time I set out to do something festive it gets put on the back burner because I think I should be doing “more important” tasks, like revacuuming the house. I need to find the balance of doing what I need to do but at the same time making sure I enjoy this beautiful time of year with my little darling and for myself. 
Now, let me get honest with you all for a moment… Here’s some “real talk”…
I truly feel like I had great balance going all year, I did. I had my routine, I always had lists of fun things to do & I just feel like I was going great in life, I was confident in being me & my Mothering, to me my life sparkled and I was proud of it.
Then in the last couple of months things took a bit of a downwards spin for our little family and it threw me out of whack. Things out of my control happened. 
It was like I was a snow globe, I was picked up and shaken so hard and parts of me were falling everywhere and I was rushing around trying to catch it all. I burnt myself out trying to fix things I couldn’t & being stressed, I should’ve just stood back and watched it all fall, embraced the sadness & pain momentarily but let it fall away. And once it had happened & I had processed it, then I should have dealt with the mess. But instead I gathered it all up tried to hold onto to it, when there was nothing I could do. 
But we’ve passed the hard stuff, we are finding our feet again, our routine is coming back, my lists of fun things to do for Christmas has started and I can see the sparkle coming back into my life. It’s there, I see a glimmer of the sparkle at the end of the tunnel, it’s there and I’m close – but not there, just yet.
I do think I need to cut myself some slack at times. I feel we as Mothers put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect in life, to be “Pinterest perfect” and to create the magic in our children’s lives. 
And now, I am not saying that is bad. I personally love creating magic, waving my festive freak flag around, planning activities and aiming for something close to “Pinterest perfection” – but at the same time we need to give ourself some grace. We need to accept life won’t always be perfect, that it is ok to have moments that don’t sparkle and as long as you keep striving for a better day than the bad day before, it is ok. If you actively work towards things getting better, it will. Life will throw a spanner in the works it always seems when life feels perfect. Maybe it’s to knock us back down so we stay grounded? I don’t know – there are a lots of ways to look at it. But I do know without the rain we don’t get rainbows and if it’s never dark we can never appreciate the stars.
I’ve been reprioritising lately, I’m in the process of cleaning out our lives, rebuilding our routine, my mindset, our activities lists – I am getting back on top. I had to, our life had a major disruption, I became unwell, I needed some time to process everything and I lost my way for a few weeks. So I just focused on us, the three of us. That’s what is important to me. I said “no” to other distractions and simplified.  
There is no shame in taking time to focus on what is important and simplifying life so you can regroup and restructure your life. Unfortunately I needed to do this before my favourite time of year, so I feel coming into the Christmas season I am kind of unprepared, but slowly things are falling back into place – I am almost back on top, that sparkle is almost back… Almost. I am determined to get it back before Christmas.
I think Christmas for a lot of people, especially Mumma’s can be stressful – we are trying to out decorate, out craft and outdo each other – or even just be “as good” as the next Mum or that Pinterest picture. But this year, for me – I am focusing on us. 
Christmas to me is about family and remembering why we celebrate. I want to teach my daughter that this season is more about giving & serving others than receiving, not just about the lovely crafts & baking. Even though that is a wonderful thing to do, I assure you we will be doing some of them. But if I don’t get “it all” done, that is ok. 
As long as we remember the reason for the season, we look for opportunities to give and the 3 of us (well, plus the 9 other members) are together on Christmas day, it’s all wonderful. 
This year isn’t about making Christmas perfect, it’s about focusing on how fortunate we are, why we celebrate Christmas and family. That’s it. And as long as I have that, I am ok. 
(And a few chances to craft & bake with my sweet girl will be wonderful too!)
Remember to soak in the feeling of Christmas and just be, be with those you love.

I hope you are all enjoying the start of this wonderful time of year and that this honest post was something you all enjoyed. I never intend to come across as our life being perfect, I just refuse to focus in on the negative. But Christmas is hard on everyone at times and I thought I would share this – just incase it helps one person. 
Love to you all & a big Christmas hug!