Honesty; Finding the balance & joy this Christmas.

Good morning friends,
It is December – finally! 
The tree is up, (has been for weeks), festive excitement has filled my heart – as well as a bit of festive stress for not being as organised as I wished I was. 
We get 1 December a year and I feel I am kind of not ready for it.
I feel like every time I set out to do something festive it gets put on the back burner because I think I should be doing “more important” tasks, like revacuuming the house. I need to find the balance of doing what I need to do but at the same time making sure I enjoy this beautiful time of year with my little darling and for myself. 
Now, let me get honest with you all for a moment… Here’s some “real talk”…
I truly feel like I had great balance going all year, I did. I had my routine, I always had lists of fun things to do & I just feel like I was going great in life, I was confident in being me & my Mothering, to me my life sparkled and I was proud of it.
Then in the last couple of months things took a bit of a downwards spin for our little family and it threw me out of whack. Things out of my control happened. 
It was like I was a snow globe, I was picked up and shaken so hard and parts of me were falling everywhere and I was rushing around trying to catch it all. I burnt myself out trying to fix things I couldn’t & being stressed, I should’ve just stood back and watched it all fall, embraced the sadness & pain momentarily but let it fall away. And once it had happened & I had processed it, then I should have dealt with the mess. But instead I gathered it all up tried to hold onto to it, when there was nothing I could do. 
But we’ve passed the hard stuff, we are finding our feet again, our routine is coming back, my lists of fun things to do for Christmas has started and I can see the sparkle coming back into my life. It’s there, I see a glimmer of the sparkle at the end of the tunnel, it’s there and I’m close – but not there, just yet.
I do think I need to cut myself some slack at times. I feel we as Mothers put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect in life, to be “Pinterest perfect” and to create the magic in our children’s lives. 
And now, I am not saying that is bad. I personally love creating magic, waving my festive freak flag around, planning activities and aiming for something close to “Pinterest perfection” – but at the same time we need to give ourself some grace. We need to accept life won’t always be perfect, that it is ok to have moments that don’t sparkle and as long as you keep striving for a better day than the bad day before, it is ok. If you actively work towards things getting better, it will. Life will throw a spanner in the works it always seems when life feels perfect. Maybe it’s to knock us back down so we stay grounded? I don’t know – there are a lots of ways to look at it. But I do know without the rain we don’t get rainbows and if it’s never dark we can never appreciate the stars.
I’ve been reprioritising lately, I’m in the process of cleaning out our lives, rebuilding our routine, my mindset, our activities lists – I am getting back on top. I had to, our life had a major disruption, I became unwell, I needed some time to process everything and I lost my way for a few weeks. So I just focused on us, the three of us. That’s what is important to me. I said “no” to other distractions and simplified.  
There is no shame in taking time to focus on what is important and simplifying life so you can regroup and restructure your life. Unfortunately I needed to do this before my favourite time of year, so I feel coming into the Christmas season I am kind of unprepared, but slowly things are falling back into place – I am almost back on top, that sparkle is almost back… Almost. I am determined to get it back before Christmas.
I think Christmas for a lot of people, especially Mumma’s can be stressful – we are trying to out decorate, out craft and outdo each other – or even just be “as good” as the next Mum or that Pinterest picture. But this year, for me – I am focusing on us. 
Christmas to me is about family and remembering why we celebrate. I want to teach my daughter that this season is more about giving & serving others than receiving, not just about the lovely crafts & baking. Even though that is a wonderful thing to do, I assure you we will be doing some of them. But if I don’t get “it all” done, that is ok. 
As long as we remember the reason for the season, we look for opportunities to give and the 3 of us (well, plus the 9 other members) are together on Christmas day, it’s all wonderful. 
This year isn’t about making Christmas perfect, it’s about focusing on how fortunate we are, why we celebrate Christmas and family. That’s it. And as long as I have that, I am ok. 
(And a few chances to craft & bake with my sweet girl will be wonderful too!)
Remember to soak in the feeling of Christmas and just be, be with those you love.

I hope you are all enjoying the start of this wonderful time of year and that this honest post was something you all enjoyed. I never intend to come across as our life being perfect, I just refuse to focus in on the negative. But Christmas is hard on everyone at times and I thought I would share this – just incase it helps one person. 
Love to you all & a big Christmas hug! 


Sunday Series; Let me ask you a question…

I read a question the other day that has really stuck with me…

“what would you do if you knew you were guaranteed to succeed?” 

That question honestly has not left my mind at all and at times it has made me a bit sad.

I feel I have so many goals & dreams that most likely will never be achieved in my life time, but at the same time the thought I may not achieve everything I dream of just pushes me to at least give them ago. 
So what would I do… 
  • Firstly and it’s the thing I strive to do every single day – be the very best Mother in this world. I know that it is a fairly impossible task as I will never be my Mother, but I give it everything I have and I am determined to be the best I can. I also want to be the best wife to my ability. 
  • I want to be the best version of myself I can – we develop constantly. Our interests, attitudes, likes, dislikes are constantly evolving as we pass through each season of our life – but no matter what, I just always want to remain a good person. 
  • I would want to a great Australian female hunter or at least just be able to hunt, I have had this deep desire to learn to shoot & be a hunter (either with bow or gun) for what seems like the past few years. I’ve never had the chance to go because it’s more of a thing my Dad, Trent & my brothers do – kind of a “girl free” event, but they are slowly working out I still want to go – so maybe one day I’ll get to go. I know I need to work on my accuracy a lot more – but it is a working progress & something I’ll be starting to work on very soon.
  • To go along with the goal of one day being able to hunt, I would also love to be able to skin my kills! If I kill a fox I know it may happen, as my Dad is great at it & will teach me! Ultimately I would love to learn how to do taxidermy – but not on pets (because that is creepy), just for hunting trophies! It is unlikely to happen as I don’t have the time to commit to learn something that is so incredibly hard & detailed, but – it’s a goal. (Also, I would love to learn to butcher my own meat).
  • I would move to America – I am not even joking. I have this very strong pull towards America, I honestly feel like I need to visit the South or even move there! The big touristy cities (L.A, L.V, N.Y etc) don’t interest me that much, New York would be fun, but it’s not a must see for me. Anywhere in the South would make me happy – heck I would even move to Texas. I love Australia I truly do and I know things in real life are different to how they appear online but I have a really strong urge to at least visit America – one day!! 
  • I would start a magazine. This has been something I’ve thought of for a little while, especially since becoming a Mum. No “Mummy magazines” appeal to me, I always want to buy magazines but not one jumps out at me or has anything I find interesting inside! Surely I can’t be the only one who is sick to death of the boring Mummy magazines or the trashy magazines that are packed full of lies? How about a magazines that has a good mix of interesting articles about strong women, recipes, realistic interior design tips, great articles on child development, home making suggestions & tips and fashion that appeals to regular adults? Not midriff baring crop top style hideous looks – just classy & classic fashion. 
  •  And if we are really dreaming, heck I would be a surgeon. Science & the medical field really interests me. There is no way I could ever be a nurse & being a G.P wouldn’t be ideal for me, but being a surgeon would be incredibly interesting, rewarding and would be a very respectful career. 
So they are my “unlikely to happen but hey you never know one day they might happen” goals. (Ok realistically the surgeon one will most likely never happen!) I have a few more goals that are starting but they are still developing in my mind at the moment. 
But just between you and I – I have already started work on one of these goals – I may not get to exactly where I dream, but at least I am starting!! 
(Did any of those goals surprise any of you?)
And I like to keep this thought in the back of my mind when I am doubting myself…

If you had asked me the same question back when I was 18 and fresh out of high school my answers would’ve been very different. They most likely would have been;
  • Travel everywhere, see & experience everything.
  • Be a photographer.
  • Be a journalist for either Rolling Stone or National Geographic (such a typical 18 year old dream). 
  • Or be a lawyer. 
And to be honest I did want to do journalism for a very long time, I did start it at university but surviving on your own in a town hours away from your parents & supporting yourself while dealing with a personal family matter was just too much, I couldn’t do it and I quit. I kind of hate that I quit – but at the same time I feel everything happens for a reason. I ended up working very hard and worked my way through a dodgy job up into a better job with a better position that I feel I should’ve needed a degree to do and that was doing advertising & promotions for a large company. I ran all their promotions, redesigned their whole entire store & over saw the construction of that project & hosted a successful store reopening and did a lot of media campaigns for them. I am proud of the work I have done in a short amount time, even though I know compared to others it really isn’t much. 
I also wanted to do law for what feels like my whole life, like since I was 7 & it is something I am still interested in! But the older I’ve got the more I’ve realised I don’t think that field is for me. Yes I am fairly ruthless & can argue amazingly but to me it seems like a very high stress & at times corrupt job. Not meaning you have to be corrupt to do law, but like every industry there are dodgy people & I don’t agree with that – especially when it comes to dealing with criminals. I just don’t feel like I need a stressful job – I have enough stress already! 
And with travelling I still want to, but my expectations have kind of changed. I think more now about what will benefit LuLu better instead of myself, so that is why we are waiting until she is much older until we travel – so she will remember it better. I think paying an exorbitant amount of money for an overseas holiday with a 1 year old is kind of insane, I would much prefer to go when she is older, so she can actually remember the trip! 

I think it’s great to look back at different stages of my life & see what I considered a “goal” at that point. I’m sure in 5 or 10 years my dreams will be very different again, but I guess that happens. As we mature we develop new interests & dreams – I think it all depends on the season of our life. 
But right now in this season for me, I am focused on being an amazing Mumma, wife & daughter! Anything else I achieve in during this time is an added bonus!

So what would YOU do if you knew you could not fail?
What are you dreams? 
Have a beautiful Sunday!!

Sunday Series; Positivity.

Welcome to my first ‘Sunday Series’ post.
I am not sure how “well received” this series of posts will be, as it is an entirely different approach to my usual “Bella In Bindyland” style of writing. To be honest it is a little daunting posting this type of material… 
While I wrote at “Bella In Bindyland” I briefly touched on my faith and mentioned it a little more regularly after I was pregnant – but it wasn’t something I always openly spoke about. 
I had an idea this morning, that each Sunday or maybe every other Sunday that I would write a post about my week, an event or something that was on my mind –  just something that I was dealing with or had dealt with and refer it back to how I used my faith to deal with it or a verse that I found comfort in… Maybe? Or this maybe the only one I write – let me know what you think, comment below…

To kick of this Sunday series, lets talk about my morning today (I am writing this on Saturday afternoon
I woke up early – like inhumanely early. 
I’m talking, 4:30am early. That is not my ideal wake up time. Heck, I will wake up 5am gladly – I almost like waking up at that time as I find I get a lot done early in the morning but I like that extra 1/2 hour of sleep (or preferably another hour or 2!), but today I woke up at that dreadful hour, with a horrendous headache that I had since the night before and my daughter leaning on top of me smiling down at me saying “Mumma, Mumma” while she tried to get into my nightie for “boobie” (yes, still breastfeeding – slowly working on weaning). So as I laid her down and fed her I drifted off to sleep & then I heard Trent’s alarm beeping, I swear this was like 2 minutes later – then I realised, gosh I had woken up before Trent! 
He got out of bed and ready for work and as LuLu sleepily stopped feeding I rolled her over and snuggled her – but then she sprung up, she was awake and full of energy and she wanted to play!! I tried laying her down saying “Bubbas tired…” & patting her & normally that works perfectly – some mornings she will fall back to sleep with me until 6 or 7am. But nope, not this morning. In her mind it was time for us to be up – Trent even attempted to get her back to sleep for a little while, but our girl was wide awake… 
So after Trent left I crawled out of bed, head pounding and I made my way to the kitchen, it then dawned on me that I hadn’t started the dishwasher last night – argh, I hate dirty dishes and leaving them over night in a dishwasher – well, yuck! It stinks and is gross. This just seemed like a never ending bad morning that was dragging on from a bad evening last night. 
*Rewind* Yesterday evening I stupidly forgot that cream was a crucial ingredient in making a quiche – so after being out all day I didn’t even think to buy the cream that I would need to make dinner, it didn’t even dawn on me – and I use the same recipe almost once a fortnight to make dinner, I felt so stupid and I was fairly annoyed at myself. (we had omelette instead for dinner!) 
Anyway, as I went back to the bathroom to rewash my face, I looked in the mirror while wiping away the water and I thought – I can quickly wipe away the water on my face to make it dry – I can quickly erase the negative thoughts of this morning and replace them with some good thoughts & make this day better. I was in control of how my day was to be. These negative thoughts and negative way of viewing everything was not good enough.
So I picked up LuLu and we walked around the house opening the windows as we always do, letting the cool morning air in. We admired the sun rising and how peaceful and lovely everything is in the early hours of the day.
As I changed her nappy and put her in clothes for the day, I thought to myself what a truly blessed life I live. I turned every reason for my “bad” morning into a reason for a “good” day. My daughter waking me up at 4:30am is not a bad reason at all, I have my daughter. I prayed for years for her and now I have her, she is the light of our lives and such a joy to us she is never a bad reason. Forgetting to start the dishwasher – wow, first world problem much Bindy? I am thankful I finally have a dishwasher, Trent and I didn’t have a one until we bought our new home recently because our last house was a very old one that had no space for a dishwasher. So I am lucky to have a dishwasher & it is one of the best ones on the market so I am extremely lucky, thank the Lord I no longer have to hand wash dishes. And just to make sure I was really thinking of how truly blessed I am, I reminded myself I have running water and electricity to allow the dishwasher to work!
As I walked out of LuLu’s room and went about making our breakfasts I knew my day was going to be better, I felt more positive and more awake. 
Our lives are wonderful, we are rich in blessings and I had no excuse to be miserable over such silly & honestly such trivial reasons. I said thank you to our Lord for so generously blessing Trent and I in our lives and asked that He help me continue to have such a positive way of thinking for the rest of the day. 
My day was great, I had loads of energy and LuLu patiently played while I did 2 loads of laundry, she helped me polish the wooden furniture and then quietly followed me around while I vacuumed the house. She had a very long morning nap, so I was able to do some more jobs, read, catch up on social media & just relax a little. After lunch I mowed the lawn while LuLu played outside with the dogs & then we had a nice swim together and then she had another nap. It was a pretty great day and I got lots done! 
But that didn’t mean things didn’t go wrong either today. I went to the store for dog shampoo & fruit, I forgot the dog shampoo. When I mowed the lawn I accidentally hit a rock and it shot out the back and stung me in the top of my thigh – & holy crap it still hurts like crazy! But those issues didn’t define my day, I could’ve been super negative about both of those occurrences but I chose not to. 
I find if I stick with a positive mind set and remain grateful for what I have, my day just goes better, my attitude is more pleasant, things just seem to go my way & I deal with everyday issues a lot better.

I chose to thank God for my day regularly, just little prayers said in my mind – they keep me searching for the good in my day & help me to remember how fortunate I am & I also ask Him to help me if I am struggling with a tough moment or I am feeling negative. 
But you don’t have to believe in God or even be religious to have this mind set. I know how easy it is to slip into a cranky & negative state of mind and hate the world and be super critical & negative – Lord knows I can be in a very bad mood sometimes, don’t think I am trying to portray myself as Sally Sunshine because no one is happy 24/7, but I am determined to be a better person, because my attitude controls the attitude of my household. 
If I am happy & pleasant I find my home is more calm & joyful. If I am cranky & negative, well it can be fairly stressful & tense here at times. 
So give it go, honestly – you can leave God out of the equation and just change the way you think. If you wake up and feel negative, list 10 things in your life that make you blessed. Even if nothing in your life is going the way you want it to right at this very moment, you are still privileged. Don’t be shallow, look deep into how fortunate your life is. If you are reading this, you have internet connection – there, that is one thing to be thankful for. 
But I truly believe our minds shape how our day will be – even how our lives will be. So be positive. I encourage you to go about your life with a joyful heart! 

AMEN!!! Proverbs 4:23 NCV
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Doing everyday tasks with a joyful heart honestly makes those mundane jobs more pleasant and easy & keeps your mind positive… Well, it works for me! 🙂
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And for those that don’t believe in God… 
I think this is a valid point – we all the have negative & positive thoughts in our minds, just as we have good and evil in our hearts – what we choose to act on truly defines who we are. (Ah Sirius, so wise.) 
So… Thoughts? Did you like this style of blog post? 
Leave me a comment below (or on Facebook, or email me or tweet me!) your thoughts on this post and if you would like to read similar posts in the future.
Have a glorious Sunday.

Snapchat; Bindy_30