Sunday series on a Friday… {Contentment}

Hey friends,

Let’s talk contentment… Being content., happy where you are, at peace with what you’ve got – you know the deal.
I shared the other night on insta-stories that I found tremendous peace with where I am currently at with my little blog. In this “online world” every single thing is numbers, it matters greatly how many views, followers, likes, shares, etc – everything, every single number matters and you know what… I’m kind of a bit done with having it be that way. I am sick of watching my numbers go up and down. And wondering what I am doing wrong or right. Bottom line is, I am me – I put out the content I feel I need to and what I want to share. Like me or don’t like me, that’s fine.
I said in that post that I am aware I’m a small fish in a big pond & I’m fine with that, that suits me fine – I’m like 5ft/5ft 1 – being little suits me.
That very next morning I woke up to an inner voice trying to tell me, I’m small because I’m not worthy to be anything else… You know the voice, that voice that comes into your mind and undermines your positive thoughts, the voice that tries to drown out the quiet and loving voice we should all be listening for – you know the one, the voice that means nothing good.
And I let it eat at me, it got me down briefly.
And then I realised my worthiness, my contentment & joy isn’t found in that negative voice – it’s found in the one that’s whispering to me, reminding me about the Mums I have encouraged, the positive messages I get weekly, the beautiful connections I’ve made, reminding me of what I have achieved in my “online career” and assuring me what I put out there is useful and needed in this world of many voices. My voice maybe small, but my message matters.
I think this can be compared to so many scenarios in our everyday life, we feel content and then a voice of doubt creeps in, we compare, we lose that joy and secure feeling and suddenly we aren’t happy, we are envious and we are negative.
Paul wrote in Philippians 4:11-13
“I am not saying this because I am need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstance. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.”

That is spot on, Jesus is the one who gave me my contentment and it wasn’t His voice trying to fill my mind with doubt. But that of the enemy.
I pray you remember this when a negative voice tries to drown out your positive and content thoughts.

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I’m so content with my 2 little loves.

I hope this post encouraged you today friends…
Each of our lives and paths are different, but we are all where we are meant to be and still slowly moving to where we are intended to be, all part of a greater plan. We can either be content and at peace with that or be miserable. I chose the joy, each and every darn time, because I want a joy filled life. Even if my current place isn’t the ideal in my mind or the times life is a bit chaotic or hard, I don’t control the end game – that’s out of my hands, but I have faith.
So yes, I will keep striving for more, working and aiming higher – but that doesn’t mean I am not content with where I am. I am grateful for my little platform and I’m thankful you are here to read my post.
Thank you.
Are you feeling content with where you are at?
What are you working towards currently?

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Flourish with grace.

It is almost twenty eighteen! I can remember ringing in the New Year in 2000 – and now it’s 2018! So I am getting in early and wishing you all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!
2017 has just over 12 hours remaining, I feel like this year was over in a second – but I also feel it dragged on in parts…
This year has been a pretty massive one for our little family…
Just a few weeks out from the end of 2016 we welcomed our 2nd baby and 2017 was an exciting year of being a family of 4. A number we feel is perfect for us.
We put our house on the market, patiently (kind of) waited for it to sell and then packed up and moved to a completely new town and bought a block of land which we will build on in 2018.
So that was basically our year… How was yours?

Going into 2018, the idea of having a word to focus on/be inspired by for the New Year appealed to me.
But what word? I adore countless words, this year is going to be a massive one for us and gosh, this feels like a lot of pressure – picking one word… So I will be a rebel and break the trend of 1 word and pick two, heck I may even make it a sentence.

Flourish & Grace.

In 2018 I want to flourish.
2016 & 2017 was all about growth for me, they were rough years – full of times I didn’t think I could or would survive. From everything from health issues, to betrayal, hurt, sadness, stress, anger and exhaustion. But you know what? I am sitting here on the 31st of December, 2017 and I am thankful to God for my struggles. I write this as someone who has grown tremendously in the past year. I shared some thoughts about this on my social media & you can read it HERE.
So, if 2017 was a year for big growth, 2018 will be my year to flourish. My environment is more positive this year, I’ve rid my everyday of hurtful people, I’m motivated & determined. So I’m ready to flourish and positively grow even more.
And I want to flourish with grace, I know the reason I can grow is because of His grace.
So, 2018 is my year that Because of His grace, I will flourish with grace. 

Ice Cream PartyHaving my little statement to inspire me, helps me focus on what I hope to achieve in 2018. Basically I want to flourish in every aspect of my life. Keeping flourish & grace in mind these are somethings I plan to work on this year…

  • Growing this little blog even more, helping it flourish.
  • Encouraging others and sharing my story. I want to aim to live my best life, while encouraging others to do the same.
  • Taking better care of me. Being more conscious of what goes into my body and how I am taking care of it and also taking more care of my mental & emotional health.
  • Giving myself grace.
  • Helping my little love LuLu flourish in her first year away from me.
  • Growing more in my faith.
  • Being even more confident in my decisions – which is a big one considering in 2018 we will building our home, and that’s full of decision making!
  • Go on more adventures.
  • Make our new home a home.
  • Do more of what I love and continue to learn.

Now these are fairly vague – there are a lot of little things that fall under these categories – but I prefer to stay very general and not have hard & set things set for an entire year. Each month I plan to reevaluate and set goals to accomplish for that period, this list will probably explode during the year.
What are your goals/resolutions/word/s for 2018? Let me know in the comments below or on my social media.

So 2018, I’m ready for you… Let’s do this, let’s Flourish with Grace.

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10 tips for Handling toxic people & family estrangement at Christmas.

Hey friends,
It is a few days out from Christmas and in today’s blog post I want to offer support & encouragement to anyone that maybe dealing with family issues or estrangement during this festive season.
It is fairly hard to be an adult child and feel like your family has abandoned you or to feel like you have no other choice but to walk away from family who continually hurt you. It sucks, gosh it is hard, heck it is hard enough writing this post, but I feel it may help someone… So if you are dealing with this right now, I am sorry. I get it.

I filmed a video the other day talking about this, I admit it’s a bit rambly and a bit long – so if you want to watch, I highly recommend you go get a cup a tea/snack/cold drink and then click HERE.
But if you would just like a few tips on how to deal with family estrangement or toxic people, especially at Christmas read on…

  1. Refocus your vision. Instead of focusing on who isn’t in your life, focus on who is. Focusing on those who aren’t in your life, is heartbreaking & can bring up a lot of angry feelings. So instead focus on those who actively participate in your life and bring value to it.
  2. We can’t control the actions of others. Remember this, it doesn’t matter who they are – parents, siblings, children, partners – we ultimately cannot control anyone but ourselves.
  3. Set boundaries. If you are forced to be around people who are toxic during Christmas, set boundaries. Protect yourself, don’t put yourself in a position to be alone with them, have an exit plan if you start getting upset or hurt and remain respectful.
  4. Don’t lower yourself. It is easy to say this and not so easy to do this, but when someone is hurting you, don’t go out of your way to hurt them back. Their behaviour is their choice, you look after yourself – your mental & emotional health and make sure you are behaving to a standard you are proud of. Admittedly everyone occasionally says something they wish they hadn’t or let’s anger take over their mind, in this case – try and pull yourself up and walk away or hang up the phone.
  5. Let go of negative feelings. Let go of anger, stress, resentment & bitterness.
  6. Understand everything happens for a reason. This sounds dreadful in this context. Like it’s hard to understand God’s plan for removing people you love from your life, or forcing you to remove people you do love but you can no longer tolerate hurtful behaviour from. But I truly believe everything is part of a greater plan, we just can’t see it yet. Perhaps the person will never be apart of your life again or maybe you just need a time out from them, who know’s time apart could strengthen your relationship… Everyone’s circumstance is different. But everything happens for a reason.
  7. Don’t be hard on yourself & be prepared. If you have made a decision to distance yourself from family members, be gentle with yourself. Not every person will understand, agree with or respect your choice – be prepared for that. You may lose even more people you love, because of the fall out from this decision. Many people will try & guilt trip you – especially around events like Christmas, if you went through gradual steps and the separation is a mature & thought out decision, don’t feel you owe it to anyone to explain why. You can of course, but be strong in your choice and know that your decision was for the best for yourself/& your family at this current time. Often outside people don’t see a side of a person that you may, so they may not understand what you have been through. Toxic people are great at playing the victim & you maybe painted as a villian.
  8. Reconciliation. If you want it to happen, reach out. But prepared to have that talk about issues and also your part in the estrangement. If you don’t want to reconcile but the others do, be respectful if you respond or just say nothing. You don’t have to have a relationship with someone or accept being treated poorly just because they are family.  Christmas seems like an ideal time for reconciliation, because everyone wants family at Christmas – but I highly suggest thoroughly thinking it through seriously, would you and the other person would be in the right mental/emotional state in such a busy month to properly reconcile. Remember it takes 2 people to mend a relationship & both have to be willing and also have empathy. Some toxic people lack the skills to be empathetic – so reconciling can be hard – even impossible and it may actually require professional help. Christmas may not be the ideal time to do this.
  9.  Seek help & talk. Chatting to a trusted friend or your partner/spouse maybe all you need, but maybe speaking to a professional or seeking out a support group is what you need. Don’t let your feelings build up so you explode – talking is very helpful.
  10. Lose all expectations & don’t compare. If you don’t expect anything you can’t get hurt. I am still learning this and it is hard. I don’t mean material items, but basic support & love. The very basic things we expect from family. And try not to compare your relationships to others, this is also tough. Remember comparison is the thief of joy and if you have no expectations – you can’t be disappointed.

Friends, I hope these tips may help you during the holiday season. If you are feeling abandoned, alone or forced into a decision you wish you didn’t have to make – I am sorry. I understand – I truly do. It is very heartbreaking & hard.
To hear me ramble & be a little raw about this topic please click HERE. But be warned the video is a bit all over the place.
Or for more support please check out this organisation. Stand Alone

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This post/video is designed to help people and that is the motive behind posting it.

My birth story, 1 year on.

13th December, 2017.
Tonight is emotional.
Tomorrow my baby turns one.
My last baby, will no longer be a baby and I’ve been on the verge of tears all day & I’m pretty sure they are set to erupt anytime now…
When it’s birthday time I get all nostalgic and emotional, I look back at old photos and just go back to those newborn moments. The newborn bubble is the greatest, I could live in a continuous loop of sleepy newborn days where you are so infatuated and in awe it’s intoxicating… But it speeds by at an absolutely ridiculous rate and before you know it, you are sitting there, the night before they turn 1 fighting back the tears as you scroll through photos reminiscing of the moment you met that tiny little person.
So let’s go there, let’s go back and let me tell you my birth story of my son…

Now for a tiny bit of back story, if you followed my pregnancy last year you will know it was pretty average. (To see more click HERE)
There were a few stints in hospital, a diagnosis of an auto immune disorder which causes me to be incredibly sick as well as all day “morning” sickness that lasts my entire pregnancy right up until about a minute before I give birth. All that sickness then lead to irritable uterus early on and a very, very painful pregnancy and well, to be honest I thought I was going to die last year I felt so awful. I was constantly worried about my little “Baby Elf” and each week he stayed in was a milestone because there was a worry he was going to arrive super early, like at one point it would’ve not been viable for him to survive.
But we hit those milestones, 24 weeks, 28 weeks, 32 weeks was a big relief (I could deliver in Toowoomba now, before that would mean a big stay down in Brisbane) 36 weeks and then 38 weeks rolled around…
So due to the concern of “Baby Elf” arriving early, I had undergone 2 rounds of steroid injections to ensure his respiratory system was developed.
For a few months I had been managing my health with medication and just keeping myself “stable” with the bare minimum amount of drugs so it was safe for “Baby Elf” and I. But around 38.5 weeks I started to get sick again, I felt ok but I knew how I feel after being sick for a week or so. It’s not good, heck if I get sick now, after just a few days I’m very weak and drained – add on being pregnant, delivering a baby, recovery & then going straight into life with 2 kids… It wouldn’t have been ideal. So we spoke to my OB & specialist who both agreed that it was in everyone’s best interest if “Baby Elf’ was to arrive a few days early. That way I had strength for birth and recovery.
He was due on the 20th of December, but we opted for an induction and assumed he would arrive the 14th or 15th of December.
During my pregnancy there were concerns if I would be strong enough to handle to a natural birth again, but I was pretty determined to give it ago. I never have much of a birth plan besides get the baby out in a way that will hurt the least! HA! Basically my only request is, give me the darn epidural when I ask for it!

So the 13th of December, we spent the last day as a tiny family of 3 by just being together, we went for a swim, we cuddled and we just cherished these last few moments. Before I left for the hospital that night (induction check in is 7pm) Trent made me Vegemite and cheese on toast, I ate this the night before I went into labour with LuLu.
Trent and LuLu drove me to the hospital and checked me in and letting them leave was the hardest thing, I cried – a lot. Birth is a big deal, things go wrong in birth, I was terrified – I had to start the process alone and that little girl was my whole world. It had been just her and I every single day together for the past 1153 days. And now it was all about to change. I cried because the next time I saw her she wouldn’t be my only baby, she would be my first baby and a big sister. They were happy tears, but scared tears. I had dealt with having to say good bye to them both a lot while they left me in hospital far more than I would’ve liked that year, and I wish Trent could have stayed – but I knew LuLu needed him more.
The plan with the induction is to have the gel inserted around midnight (explains the 7pm check in) well, turns out that night just had to be super busy and mine didn’t get inserted until 3am and then after that is regular obs checks. So I’ve had maybe a couple hours of very broken sleep at this point. I had been awake from 7am Tuesday morning (the 13th) I was partly running on adrenaline and partly just wanting a nap… So by 6am I had my makeup done and I was ready to meet our son.
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The plan here was to see how the induction would go and labour on my own, when things started to spark up Trent was going to come back. I wanted him to stay with LuLu for as long as he could, my best friend was organised to arrive to take over looking after her for that day & that night. (We weren’t sure if the induction would work or how it would progress, some inductions take more than a day and some don’t work…) 
My OB arrived around 8:50am to check me, he reinserted the gel and also did a stretch and sweep (holy, ouch!) and that my friends is when my body got a little angry at me. My contractions felt like they were amping up, prior to this I had some basic niggles and discomfort but nothing that would make me stop and take a big breath. But after that point, boy did I have to stop and breath A LOT. After they insert the gel they have to monitor you on the CTG machine for about 1/2 an hour (I think) and laying in the bed is the most uncomfortable thing when you are having contractions. So once that was done I was up and walking the halls, walking around my room and then I got in a hot shower. I felt better when I was moving… I am pretty sure there was a phone call made to Trent around this point that may have been a little emotional because of how much pain I was in.
When I had left the labour ward room where I was on the CTG machine, the nurse told me to monitor my contractions and come back in around 1/2 an hour and tell her how many I was averaging in a 10 minute period. I got back and told her around 8-10 in 10 minutes. I am pretty sure she thought I was an idiot because she said “ah, no sweetie if you were having that many you would be screaming” – so she attached the monitor and sure enough 9 contractions in 10 minutes.
So they decided I needed an injection to calm that all down. Thankfully that worked.
Trent arrived just after that and it was just before lunch time and I was still labouring away with some pretty painful contractions. When he arrived I was due to be released from the CTG machine (woo hoo!) so I went for a walk with him to the cafeteria so he could eat some lunch. And he got so many bad looks from all the women eating their food, because here he was enjoying his meal while his very pregnant & clearly in labour wife waddled/paced around the table like a circling shark breathing like a crazy lady. I didn’t mind, walking was helping me feel better but to an outsider it probably looked liked he was some nasty husband who valued his appetite more than my comfort! It made us laugh a lot!
After Trent was full, I waddled back to my room for a shower. Hot water on my lower back was making me feel a lot better.
My sister arrived at this point, she is a midwife at this hospital so it was nice to have her there. She was able to explain things to me if I didn’t understand and also made sure everything that was happening was in my best interest.
Then it was time to head back around to the CTG machine to check how I was going. When we got there we were told to head on around to the delivery room, because it was time to get that delightful needle in my spine and then my waters would be broken.
I had spoken to my doctor during my pregnancy that I would want an epidural fairly early on. So he had kindly organised it before rupturing my waters. He was worried that once the waters were broken everything may intensify rather quickly and cause me a lot of pain. So I was very grateful that he knew I would prefer the epidural first…
Trent, Nikki and I headed into the labour ward, I put the gown on and we met my anaesthetist.
Funny story; while I was getting the epidural, the doctors phone rang and he asked Trent to answer it – they thought Trent was the anaesthetist. And Trent had to basically be the middle man between the operating theatre and the anaesthetist. We all had a laugh about it.
My water was broken around 2:30pm and synto was started to kick those contractions up a notch.
I was checked around 4:30pm and they said not much was happening and assumed I wouldn’t deliver until the following morning… I was super exhausted at this point and just wanted to sleep, so Nikki decided to head on home around 5pm.

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A little while after she left my best friend Kelsie came up to visit with LuLu, it was lovely to see them both. I got one last snuggle of my baby and she headed on off to home to have a sleep over with her little best friend. My mind was fully at ease knowing she was being so well cared for by someone I trust so much.
Around 7:45pm my OB came to check on me, we were not expecting anything to have progressed as the midwives kept saying that my contractions didn’t seem very consistent or strong… So we were very surprised when he looked down and exclaimed “Oh WOW I can see the baby, he’ll be here very soon”! He said he would give him a little time and come back in hour.
So after that I naturally touched up my makeup! (haha) but then I got super tired, I couldn’t even keep my eyes open. And then I got nauseous and had to throw up and I couldn’t stop even with medication. I knew what was about to happen, the same thing happened just before I had Lucy.
The midwives checked and then quickly called for the doctor, who came in had a look and was absolutely blown away at how fast he had come down, he was scrambling to tuck his tie in and get gowned up. My vomiting was bringing the baby down very quickly.
I needed an episiotomy and the vacuum was used, but the birth was calm and silent and just how I hoped. Before we knew it he was here.
Tommy was born at 8:44pm on 14th of December 2016.
He was (still is) a tiny little man, weighing only 6pound 9.5ounces/3000grams. He was born with dark hair and was covered in fur. He was/is exactly how I dreamt my son would be.

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But his arrival was a little frightening. He came out with the cord very firmly around his neck and it was a short cord, he was very blue looking. He ended up needing to spend some time on the resus table. I have never felt so helpless or scared. I had just been through months of fearing for the wellbeing of this precious little baby because of my stupid body and the moment he should be in my arms he was metres from me being worked on. But thankfully my prayers were heard because not much later he was in my arms and snuggled in. (He was fine, but in the moment I was petrified, I have a video of the moment he is taken from he and my hands are shaking terribly.)
After getting stitches, baby being monitored, allowing myself to feel a bit better, trying to eat and having a shower – it was very late. So it was around midnight once I finally got back to my room on the ward. I was wrecked!
We made the decision that no one besides Nikki and Kelsie would be told he was here as there was a very important little lady that needed to meet her baby brother first before the rest of our world knew about him.
Trent returned home after midnight and I tried to get some sleep.
He came back up with Lucy the following morning and our girl was head over heels in love with her baby Tommy. As were we, he is so amazing.
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We then sent a group text out to every relative & friend that was dear to us. Nearly everyone responded wishing us well, except 2 people and a year on they are still yet to meet our son. A decision they’ve made.
We are so thankful to our amazing God for our precious son, he is the most sweetest little man and an absolute little charmer. Everyone who meets him can’t help but smile, he is an absolute sweetheart and my heart feels like it’s about to burst constantly because this boy, he just loves his Mumma! He is very small, but he is so determined and strong. He is so close to walking, he has started to talk and he adores his sister so much! He loves his trucks & cars and enjoys a cuddle.
His favourite foods are greek yoghurt and avocado, blueberries, roast chicken and boobie. (I am so proud to have been able to breastfeed for 1 year! We were worried that I wouldn’t be able to at all because of how sick I was. So it was all a just “see how it goes” scenario. Once again we smashed our milestones… 1 year on and still going strong!)

We are so proud of our little man. He completed us.
Happy Birthday Mr Wigglesworth, you are so very loved darling.

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I will love him unconditionally, And I’ll take the blame , And claim him every time, Yeah, y’all, he’s mine, I thank God, he’s mine. – Rodney Atkins.

Meeting Santa’s Reindeer. {Vlogmas day 4}

Hey friends,

So, so far I have uploaded for 4 days consecutively, woo hoo go me… Going into vlogmas I was a little worried how I would go, but that being said the month is still young and I will congratulate myself properly on boxing day.
Anyway, on Saturday our local shopping centre hosted Santa’s arrival complete with a reindeer to meet!
Naturally we were there eagerly waiting to see Santa and his sweet friend and I vlogged that day – well, the best I could, on my own with 2 small children…
To check out our vlog from that day, please click HERE.
And a few snaps of the star of the show, “Radar” the red deer…

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I hope you all have had a lovely weekend.
I hope you enjoyed our first “daily vlog” for Vlogmas… If you have any video requests please let me know in the comments. 
If you have missed some of the vlogmas videos so far you can watch
DAY 1
,
DAY 2 &
DAY 3

by clicking on them. Or check out my youtube channel HERE.
Have a lovely day
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VLOGMAS Day 1.

Hey friends,
So after much deliberation and then asking my instagram followers I have decided to do VLOGMAS this year…
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Vlogmas for those that don’t know is one video per day between the 1st of December until the 25th.
To check out my first video please click HERE.

If you have any suggestions for videos you would like to see during vlogmas please comment below or connect with me on social media!
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Have a great weekend!
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5 tips to stay sane with THE ELF ON THE SHELF! 

Hi friends…
It’s the 27th of November… Despite that being both of my brother’s birthday, it is also 3 days until DECEMBER!!
Meaning, if you have an Elf on the Shelf – his arrival is coming up rather quickly…
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For today’s post I have 5 tips to make your elf’s visit pleasant rather than stressful…

  1. Make a plan, but don’t be too strict. I set out a monthly plan so I have inspiration and a general idea of what will happen – but I know I can easily swap days around, I also leave a few days blank so I can see how our month is going and add in plans we come up with later on. I even coordinated a few days with my best friend, so our kids can have Christmas themed play dates on certain days that the elf will announce. Having a plan is my top tip or even just 25-30 rough ideas of how to stage it, or just make a Pinterest board of elf ideas you love & wish to recreate. Basically, just have some ideas going into December with what you want to do. (Also have a plan for nights that you can’t be stuffed doing much with it, or a plan in case you forget to move it!)
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  2. Don’t go overboard, do not set unrealistic expectations or plan too big… December is a busy and big month for everyone – add in planing and setting up an extra visitor every night can be a lot of work. Keep it simple.
  3. Use what you have, don’t feel the need to buy all new props for the elf. Raid your kids toys. Our Generation, Lego, Barbie, basically any toys are great for elf accessories and props – even your Christmas decor!
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  4. Have fun, with it. Don’t view it as a chore – encourage your husband to even think up a few stunts for the elf so you can set it up together. Don’t over think it, like I said in point 2, just keep it simple and just have fun. Remember why you are doing it, it’s meant to bring happiness not stress…
  5. Your family, your rules… Everyone does the elf on the shelf differently, some people let the kids touch the elf, some don’t… Sometimes the elf comes earlier than December 1st & others only visit for 12 days before Christmas. Some elves just do funny antics, some bring little gifts or treats and some announce daily activities or do a combination of all! Every elf is unique – do what works for you and your family. There is no set rules, the elf & it’s antics can be as simple or as extravagant as you want… Don’t compare your elf to others. Comparison is the thief of joy, even with elves!
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Do you do Elf on the Shelf? What is your top tip for staying sane while staging your festive little friend?
Let me know below or on my social media…
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Keep an eye on my social media, I will share a photo of our elf Kringle’s new house this week!
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