2019 · honesty · life · real · truth

Hey. I am still here.

Hi friends,

I feel I owe you an explanation – a month ago I just vanished. I shut down insta and I felt a sense of freedom, kind of.
If you’ve been following me on instagram for a while you will know I often talk about fantasising about just shutting this all down, vanishing from social media – becoming anonymous… I didn’t think I actually ever would or could though, part of me felt obligated to wake up every morning most days of the week and uplift and encourage other women, to share my highs & lows so other women didn’t feel so alone. I lived for it, I loved it. I felt I was helping others & I felt called to support other women by sharing my story.
But on the night I shut it down something changed, something happened which is as much explanation as I will ever give on this topic in respect to every person involved – but it changed me and suddenly I could no longer uplift and inspire other women because I felt broken and hurt. I felt I couldn’t write positively and fake being ok because I wasn’t – I hate the fakeness of social media and my account has always been under constant scrutiny of being “not genuine” because it appears pretty and curated – but if you took the time to read my posts, read the captions of those styled photos you would realise I don’t bullshit and I’m not fake. I am a real person and I have everything from great seasons to devastating seasons in my life – just like you do & I try my hardest to be very raw about my journey, while maintaining some privacy – because in a world where we share everything – we need to keep some things private.
And my healing in the past month has been something I’ve needed to do away from sharing every detail with a few thousand people.
So read into that what you want, assume what you will. But I won’t be commenting further on it to anyone, this is just another journey to navigate through in another season of our life.
Bottom line though is we are all fine and well.
Well, “well” is open to interpretation – my health is doing ok in one sense and then in another sense I’ve just discovered it’s not so awesome – but that’s just the story of my life.

But ModernWifeLife31 is now gone.
If you’ve noticed on some social media I am rolling out a name change, still struggling with facebook but we will get there…
I don’t feel ModernWifeLife31 was right for me anymore, I’ll get more into that another day…
Does this mean I am coming back to writing weekly and posting daily? No.
For now, I will be doing this for me.
I feel my heart isn’t in this 100% at the moment and I don’t want to force content as I feel that isn’t genuine. The influencer game isn’t something I am that proud of lately, I find it so incredibly fake & forced and people who buy & trade followers, likes & comments kind of disgust me…
I maybe back to normal sooner than I think but I am not sure… I  think I still feel a bit burnt out after all the Christmas content too… Who knows, tomorrow I could wake up and be back 110% or it all may take a little more time. (I am tempted to fire up the ol’ IG though, even just to catch up on everyone I’ve missed so much!)
Edit; it’s back but new name – @bindy_g3
I have wrestled this week if I should return or simply just walk away, I have been constantly pestering trusted people in my life (the whole like 3 of them) with questions, thoughts & new blog name ideas – trying to work this out. I am constantly torn between wanting to share my life & my story because at times I feel almost called to, or just fading away and enjoying what it’s like to be anonymous – because to be honest sharing your life isn’t always wonderful & being private is quiet nice…
But for now I’m kind of back… Dipping my toe slowly back into the online pool but with a new guard up.
As you can see there is a lot of reasons behind my ” out of the blue hiatus”…
I just needed to look after me & I am slowly becoming me again.
I admit I have missed instagram but I did not miss the pressure of needing to post daily & create content. But part of my motivation to coming back was to share some easter content because y’all know I love a good holiday to decorate for.
I know though I need to look after my heart & build myself back up before I can help motivate & uplift my readers… So as I come back I maybe a bit quieter than normal, please bear with me on that.

I know many of you will be wondering how LuLu has gone at big school, she went as expected totally fine. She’s strong & confident and there were zero tears from any of us. She makes us proud.

I also want to take a moment to thank so many of you for your very surprising messages, to be honest it was a little overwhelming but a truly lovely surprise. I didn’t think many people would actually notice when I shut down insta, but so many of you did and I’m sorry for the way I left, but thank you for caring, reaching out and being understanding.

I miss you all.

Facebook.
Instagram.
Twitter.
Pinterest.
YouTube.
Snapchat; Bindy_30
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4 thoughts on “Hey. I am still here.

  1. I am so glad to see you back! I have missed you, but I don’t want me saying that to feel like pressure for you to be more active than you feel you can be. Take care of yourself first! We all understand! ❤️

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  2. Awwww. Thank you for your honesty. We’ll take whatever little bit you feel up to to sharing. No pressure at all. If rather have a small part of the real you than a while lot of fake any day, sweet thing! Lifting you up in prayer as you figure this all out. Drop in and say hello to us ladies in the Southern sweet tea and prayer group! We’re strong and mighty and would love to encircle you with prayer as you walk through this journey! It’s separate from the main group in case you didn’t already know that! Hugs and much love! ❤️

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  3. You’ve got this beautiful lady 💪🏻 You’re babies need you, keep your chin up, push through and remember how strong you are! Don’t give up beautiful, sending prayers and strength your way, so so happy to have you back, I’ve missed you💖✝️

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